As a result of this exchange, we question our feelings. You tell him that’s hurtful and ask him to stop saying it. Your partner constantly calls you stupid. ![]() Gaslighting might start off something like this: Instead we convince ourselves we just need to work harder in the relationship. That’s why gaslighting might not immediately feel like emotional abuse. We’re brought up to smooth things over as much as we can. As women, we are conditioned to accommodate our partners. Gaslighting works insidiously because, at first, it’s hard to understand exactly what’s happening - particularly if the recipient is a woman. My friend stayed with him 10 years before finally divorcing him. Feel free to shut up if you don’t agree with me.” He waved his hand dismissively and stormed out of the room. When he started mansplaining the topic to us, I cut him off, saying: “You don’t need to explain anything to me. You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” ![]() She and I were talking about politics when her husband interrupted us and said, “You’re both in over your heads. This brilliant, accomplished woman was convinced she wasn’t very smart and certainly not as smart as her husband. ![]() I asked her about his behavior multiple times, but she brushed it off as if it wasn’t a bit deal. In that week, he called her crazy, confused, and immature - all in my presence no less. I visited her for a week and witnessed him break down her confidence to the point of tears. Your partner is gaslighting you, and it’s a form of emotional abuse.Īccording to Psychology Today:“Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim to doubt her or himself, and ultimately lose her or his own sense of perception, identity, and self-worth.”Ī close friend of mine married someone who was an expert at gaslighting her. You feel like you’re going crazy.īut you’re not. You try harder to make things work, but nothing helps. It starts out great, but soon you’re experiencing an onslaught of criticism and microaggressions from your partner.
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